That title bothers me because it doesn't necessarily say what I want it to. My original thought process was, "Do you ever get to a point in your life when you know you can't keep doing what you're doing and that changes need to be made ?"
I'm there.
"Turning the page" is so dramatic and forlorn and that's just not the tone I'm trying to fill you with. Just more of a "I'm tired and I'm not going to take it anymore". Oh, that's good. I *am* tired. I *don't* want to take it anymore.
So the weekend began as gloriously as most weekends do. Options galore and an amazing amount of free time to do with as I please. I embroidered quite a bit because I wanted to finish my Mother's Day gift (pics of that later once I'm reunited with my camera). I'm quite pleased with the way it turned out, but I do really need to take out her lips and redo. Why did I think pale pink was the way to go ? Pfft. Her glory is quieted by her pale lips. Anyway, Saturday was leisurely sublime. I embroidered, watched Repo! The Genetic Opera, watered plants, cleaned the carpets and just enjoyed the day.
Today *cry* I have been plagued with heartburn. Not the normal "meh, I am uncomfortable" type of heartburn but the "omg, I wonder what's wrong with me" type of heartburn. I have been reading too much, imagining the horrific tests *they* are going to want to do and have visions of Clockwork Orange floating in my brain.
*pout*
Friday night and Saturday night = no good sleep. I woke up a lot and just didn't get a restful night's sleep. Today I am feeling cheated of my weekend.
Weekends such as this make me wonder if I'm in the right frame of mind. I've needed help before and sometimes I wonder if I'd be better off with more help ? I find myself so engaged in the internal drama and the infinite sadness that I wonder if this is too much for a girl like me to handle. Another reoccurring dilemma that flitters about in my brain once in awhile yet commonly left often unspoken is the number of nervous breakdowns that have happened in my family.
I have to wonder - how far is too far ?
...and compounded with my stomach issues (which like a Woody Allen movie, I am sure it's an ulcer) I have to contemplate that it's time I take care of ME.
NOW.
*moment of silence*
Back to Clockwork....the horrific things they shall do.
*sigh*
I'm better than this.
fin.
I'm there.
"Turning the page" is so dramatic and forlorn and that's just not the tone I'm trying to fill you with. Just more of a "I'm tired and I'm not going to take it anymore". Oh, that's good. I *am* tired. I *don't* want to take it anymore.
So the weekend began as gloriously as most weekends do. Options galore and an amazing amount of free time to do with as I please. I embroidered quite a bit because I wanted to finish my Mother's Day gift (pics of that later once I'm reunited with my camera). I'm quite pleased with the way it turned out, but I do really need to take out her lips and redo. Why did I think pale pink was the way to go ? Pfft. Her glory is quieted by her pale lips. Anyway, Saturday was leisurely sublime. I embroidered, watched Repo! The Genetic Opera, watered plants, cleaned the carpets and just enjoyed the day.
Today *cry* I have been plagued with heartburn. Not the normal "meh, I am uncomfortable" type of heartburn but the "omg, I wonder what's wrong with me" type of heartburn. I have been reading too much, imagining the horrific tests *they* are going to want to do and have visions of Clockwork Orange floating in my brain.
*pout*
Friday night and Saturday night = no good sleep. I woke up a lot and just didn't get a restful night's sleep. Today I am feeling cheated of my weekend.
Weekends such as this make me wonder if I'm in the right frame of mind. I've needed help before and sometimes I wonder if I'd be better off with more help ? I find myself so engaged in the internal drama and the infinite sadness that I wonder if this is too much for a girl like me to handle. Another reoccurring dilemma that flitters about in my brain once in awhile yet commonly left often unspoken is the number of nervous breakdowns that have happened in my family.
I have to wonder - how far is too far ?
...and compounded with my stomach issues (which like a Woody Allen movie, I am sure it's an ulcer) I have to contemplate that it's time I take care of ME.
NOW.
*moment of silence*
Back to Clockwork....the horrific things they shall do.
*sigh*
I'm better than this.
fin.
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