Truth

There is nothing for you to go back and live over, or fix, or feel regret about now. Every part of your life has unfolded just right. And so --now -- knowing all that you know from where you now stand, now what do you want? The answers are now coming forth to you. Go forth in joy, and get on with it.

Gently borrowed from the Abraham-Hicks Daily Quote.

I find this so wonderfully comforting in a way. In reality, there ARE so many things I've always thought I'd love to experience again...because of the beauty, the emotion, the sheer bliss of it all. Yet, when you ponder this idea, you have to accept the concept of taking the bad with the good and to experience everything again, I don't know.

Maybe ?

As I continue to blog about it, it's obvious I'm wrapped up in the world of Twilight. I'm actually fully aware that I will probably want to "revamp" (i.e., re-read the series - thank you TM) once I've finished Breaking Dawn. That is, unless BD makes me die a slow and silent death and I am unable to function ever again. I have always felt that life is too short to continue re-reading the same books. My list is long and I am surrounded by stacks and stacks of books -- but again, this is different.

This is Twilight.

I've attempted to quench my passion for the series by spending time at the TM forums. I don't know if it's just me, but I feel absolutely overwhelmed by that site. While it's refreshing and sometimes freaky to read posts by others in a similar state of mind, I find myself unsure of where to start, unable to find the "right place" to jump in and frankly, I just feel awkward. It's amazing and strange to read posts by so many others who are swept up into the world of Twilight like a zombie plague. There are individuals from all walks of life, all ages, all genders, all nationalities that can't seem to get enough. I also can't help but feel like I'm coming in to this whole obsession a little late. The momentum that this series has created is incredible and awe inspiring and I'm desperately trying to get up to speed while keeping my sanity. I have felt that I'm usually in line with or before the wave -- yet, this one I missed - completely. I can think back on seeing the books at Costco, Barnes and Noble, Borders....yet, I avoided them. The covers are lovely and I remember seeing them and admiring them, yet, I didn't bother looking further ?! (I have found some awesome books just by loving the covers). My lack of knowledge or foresight is nearly a paranormal experience in and of itself.

And now the true fan-grrl declaration: I can't help but feel that MY connection is so different. Almost like having a smug superiority complex, but not in the ultra-bitchy kind of way.

(I do hope that last statement doesn't land me on a few hate lists ! I just need to try to get the thought process down !)

Supporting evidence as to why I am smug, superior and (ultra) bitchy ?

Yes, yes...I know. But see, if I start popping off with WHY then I will be tossed away into a dark room and the key will be hidden somewhere smelly and forbidden and I'll be missed.

By someone.

Maybe.

Zen & Blood

Zen

I realized that the airing of negativity may be wrong for this little corner of my world. Actually, I struggle with the rightness/wrongness of it all. While I think it can be healthy to rant, I also listen to the idea that you will harvest what you sow. Or more eloquently put, "When you focus upon lack in an attitude of complaining, you establish a vibrational point of attraction that then gives you access only to more thoughts of complaint. Your deliberate effort to tell a new story will establish a new pattern of thought, providing you with a new point of attraction from your present, about your past, and into your future. The simple effort of looking for positive aspects will set a new vibrational tone that will begin the immediate attraction of thoughts, people, circumstances, and things that are pleasing to you. "

So, is it harmful or helpful to get the irritation out of one's mind by writing about it or not ? Allowing it to bounce around in one's head isn't the answer. Not allowing yourself to label it as irritating in the first place is the best answer, but I'd have to be Ghandi to achieve that level of awareness and peace.

Ranting is part of my love for writing - the freedom to express - freedom to be sarcastic - the ability to take a moment and lay the words across the screen in a way that makes everyone who reads it feel that moment as if they were witness to it. As my mom has and will continue to say, "Kimberley, don't be so critical". But, but....that's just who I am. I suppose the previous post just bothered me -- like, I came back to my little corner and fouled the air here with garbage that means nothing.

nam-yo-ho-renge-kyo
________________________________

Blood

While so many of the thoughts running through my mind will seriously label me as a pathetic fan-grrl, I have to share.

I am so loving Twilight.

There, I said it. It's nearly indescribable how it makes me feel and all the scattered pieces of memories it brings back from various times in my past. The butterflies have yet to cease and as so many have said, I find myself obsessed with reading and reading and reading. The writing is simple and fast, yet somehow the story is magical. I would not have expected a "teen novel" to carry quite so much emotion/drama and have the ability to have such an intense hold on me. That sounds completely insane, doesn't it ? My love for vampire literature goes way back, but Twilight is special...somehow.

I'm staring at the blinking cursor and am completely at a loss for words. Perhaps I should stop my Twilight update now....without going into pitiful descriptions there's not much else to be said.