This is me...

...letting it go.

Imagine, if you will, a bonfire burning brightly. The orange and red tongues lapping at the thick air. Strange shadows being cast upon the dark walls from the sensuous fire's dance.

Now, imagine me taking a few heavy thoughts...a few things from the day, still fresh from the core and heaving them into the fire. The flames consuming them....taking them away, into a pillar of murky, black smoke.

Ashes to Ashes:

1. Having to make the call to let someone know they lost their job. They don't get to return to work after the holiday weekend and that I'll talk to her about it more on Tuesday. I couldn't get a hold of her on Friday before leaving work and I couldn't leave the message or send the email in a heartless, cold fashion. I couldn't do it. So, I tossed and turned all night - dreamed about it, lost sleep over it and basically made myself sick. It's behind me now, but it's been hanging over me still.

2. Connecting with an old friend; someone who you have known for years and feeling the sting of rejection and not knowing why. Interpreting* an email as cool, aloof and having it hang on my heart and whisper softly that maybe they just don't really care anymore. Or maybe they can't....or don't want to ?

This is me tossing these thoughts to the winds tonight. Letting them go. I'm not going to dwell on them. I'm not going to allow myself to be consumed with the empathy that I so often fall victim to.

*I interpret and feel a lot. I am often right and typically go with what my heart tells me. This has, of course, gotten me into trouble in the past. Since it's gnawing at me, I need to just let it go if I want to have a decent weekend. So, not assuming anything, but letting it go, for now.